Tag Archives: BDSM

Being there

When Princess and I left Stella past Saturday evening we knew the night was not going to be a peaceful one for Stella.
Sadly since weeks none of the evenings have been good ones for Stella.

Stella is really not doing well and baby Star has returning respiratory problems.

It was concerning to see how Stella had no idea if she had already given Star’s antibiotics. Chaos and fear reign.
Luckily Princess had kept track. She had been at Stella’s place at least 4 times already.

When I arrived at 8 Stella went outside to take a break on her terrace. Princess told me her firstborn was over stressed because her sisters had visited her and she had received way to many stimuli.

We took care of Star and when Stella reappeared she said hi and told me she was sorry for her behavior. That was not necessary. I really have an idea how she feels.

So we left Stella’s place and drove to our place. We did not go to Antwerp to attend the monthly Fetish Lounge. It costs and school just started and we are going on holiday.

We enjoyed a glass of wine and then we played.

I had Princess tied up, lying on the floor, when her iPhone buzzed.
Stella.

I handed the phone over to Princess and she talked with her first-born.
Then I noticed hopelessness in her eyes when Princess handed me the phone. It was a gesture of surrender.

She did not say a word but I knew she had given up and wanted me to find a solution.

Stella was not crying, she was screaming with a mixture of fear, heartache and fear to the Nth power.

Her arm felt a little numb and she felt an uncomfortable tingling. You know, a sleeping arm or leg.

In Stella’s head she was slowly getting paralyzed and she was convinced she would wake up the next morning with a black and dead arm.
It was heartbreaking to hear and I felt powerless and did not know what to say. Not that it mattered though. Stella was to far gone to be open to anything reasonable.

“I am expecting my mother to come over now and stay the night with me,” she said and then the connection was broken.

So I told Princess going to Stella and pass the night with her was useless. It would sooth her, definitively. But only for one night and the next evening the demons would be back and it would be like that next evening. And soon Princess’ only option would be living with her daughter.

A real solution, if possible, was really something to strive for.So I told Princess there was only one thing to do. Take it or leave it was no option anymore.

I urged Princess to contact Stella’s psychiatrist and talk about her concerns, the impact on the family. Stella’s fears and worries, things I am almost sure Stella does not discuss with her doctor. Maybe I am exaggerating but I have the impression medicine is Stella’s religion.

Sunday morning we went to Stella’s to pick her up. She was mad and almost threw us out.

Sunday went by and when Princess phoned me it was 10 pm or so.

Apparently during the day Stella had not answered any of Princess’ calls.
Then one of Princess’ daughters visited Stella and had the impression baby Star had lost a lot of weight and was pale and so on.

So when Princess phoned me she was ready to pick up Stella and Star for a visit to ER. Princess needed me but was aware it would not be a good idea. There was need for some serious mother-daughter talk.

Obviously I didn’t sleep very well as I was worried about baby Star.

Princess texted me this morning and informed me Star was okay. Stella made up with her mother but when she found out Star was released from ER she got mad again.

It is something Princess said to me a long time ago… Stella can only be really okay when surrounded by doctors. It is her natural habitat.

This Monday evening, after a busy day at work, I noticed Princess had sent me an email to thank me.

Princess had found the courage to phone Stella’s psychiatrist and she had an appointment, together with Stella, this evening.
I am happy Princess did what she did but I am even more relieved Stella’s psychiatrist is aware there is a real problem with Stella and made time for them.

Don’t thank me Princess because you did it. You took the steps. I only gave you the tiniest of pushes.

I am here for you and I always will be.
I am so very proud of you.
I love you, Princess.
Yours for eternity,
Milord.

Up

To pee or not to pee

We had an awesome Saturday evening/night and Sunday morning, Princess and I. It was hot, wet, sexy, sensual, erotic and ground breaking.
Hadn’t Princess told me past Tuesday she also wanted to open up to my special needs? How she wanted to know she was pleasuring me instead of us both? Be used for my private pleasure?

I had given it much thought and had picked one of my fantasies. I would finally make it happen and I knew it would make me extremely happy, this intense act of humiliation.
And I would not breach a hard limit.

In fact we don’t have that many. Needles, poop and sharing are the only ones that spring to mind and I’m pretty sure the first one won’t be an issue if I ever decide otherwise.

We started the evening at our place with some wine while I showed Princess a Shibari performance I particularly like. Wykd Dave and his Clover do it on music by Philip Glass. It is simply awesome and their emotions so very genuine and intense.

Then I ordered Princess to stand. I blindfolded her and started fondling her, squeezing her tits and buttocks. Running my hands over her body and making sounds of approval.

I helped Princess out of her dress and bra. The first thing I did was a basic tie to bring her in the mood. I made a two-column tie at her ankles and then laced up to her waist where I secured the rope and continued with a box-tie.

After untying I stood behind Princess and pushed my knee in the hollow of her knee. It is a sign for Princess to kneel. A rough one and even more when I hold her by her hair.
But that is the way we both like it.
Rough.

I helped her on her back and tied Princess’s ankles to a bamboo pole. It is a quick and very effective tie and an ideal leg spreader.

A two-column tie around her wrists was finished of with a carabiner through the bight and attached to a rope tied around the leg of our table.
I use the carabiner simply for safety reasons.

The only thing I could not do was attach the bamboo pole to something. Princess could still move her spread legs up and down.
Then I pulled her panties halfway down her thighs.
What a delicious sight, my love lying at my feet, tied up so very helplessly.

Princess trusting me a zillion%.
Wow.

I was glad she could not see my devious smile though.

There is nothing I like more than playing with her body. Playing with pleasure, with pain, making intense compositions.

Of course the harsh pussy spanking made her cum.
Spanking her breasts seemed a very enjoyable experience too leading her to orgasm two.

The fingering and pinching of her womanhood gave her a third orgasm.

Yesssss!
She was ready but unaware what she was ready for.

“Princess?”
“Milord?”
“I am going to pee on you. It is something I always wanted to do.”
“Oh my!?”
“Trust me, I’ll target your belly but some drops may get in your hair or on your face.”
“……..”
“Are you okay with this?”
“I want to serve you Milord. I want to pleasure you. Use me at your will.”
Princess is a good and obedient girl.

I got up and positioned myself over Princess’ lower body making sure she was aware of my feet pushing at each side of her body.
“Are you ready?”
“Uhu Milord,” Princess replied hesitantly.

It splattered on her body and I made all the right noises and I noticed how her whole body got goose bumps.

Cunning as I am I moved up to her breasts and I noticed her fear for getting it on her face.
Or even worse… in her mouth.

With a few last drops I finished peeing and kneeled down next to Princess and dried her with a bath towel.
Princess is an open book and I could read her mind. O my god… my hair. And he dried me but there is still pee under my back.

I thanked her giving her an intense orgasm.
“I would like another go,” I told her.
“Must you Milord?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then.”

Once again I made sure she felt my feet at both sides of her waist and there was not so much pee of course. I am not a superhuman.

I thanked Princess with a harsh whipping of breasts, thighs and pussy (and an orgasm) before untying her and holding her in my arms. The poor thing was shivering and clearly overwhelmed with emotions.

We discussed the peeing aspect of our play. Finally she didn’t find it that awful. Hell, it had pleasure me and that was enough to make Princess happy.

The idea having pee in her hair and under her back did not make her happy but overall she liked the experience and it had turned her on more than she had expected.
Or wanted to admit.

It was my first attempt to mind fuck Princess and I succeeded with a straight A+.

I brought her in the right mood.
Then I created an expectation.
Pushing my feet against her body underlined I was standing over her.
She knew I wanted to pee over her body.
So when I tilted my Ikea glass carafe filled with body temperature tap water moving it so it seemed the falling water was, well, pee. And Princess bought it.

Mindfucking is awesome and very powerful.
As with everything in BDSM one should be very cautious.
Know your partner and never, ever, do stuff that heats up their phobia or other fears.
Things can go very wrong.
If used right the sky is the limit.

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About rituals

During our play date past Saturday we kept our eye’s open, albeit in a discrete way. Princess and I like to watch and being watched.

Just before they started playing one of the couples did something that caught my eye. Later that evening, on our way home, I discussed my observations with Princess. It made me happy me finding out Princess had noticed it too.

Yesterday evening, over the phone, Princess and I talked about it again and I’m sure it will remain a topic for a while.

Princess loves wearing her collar when we play. It helps her change her mindset.

Sometimes I forget to put it on though. On other occasions Princess likes to wear her collar when we go to bed for a good night of sleep. We do not have a protocol for the use of her collar.

But far more important is the absence of rituals in our D/s relationship.

I think I should give some rituals so Princess gets even deeper in her mindset. It certainly will help her transition from a busy day into her role as a submissive. Also I believe rituals can strengthen our D/s dynamics even further.

Rituals and protocols will add extra fun, richness and structure to our D/s play.

It touched us when we noticed how one of the submissive’s respectfully bowed for her Sir while he put on her collar. They also have a kind off sign-off ritual.

Princess agrees with me.
We definitively need a few rituals.

Going on vacation

Secretary

Some movies are like old acquaintances. You visit them because they are fun, because they make you feel happy when you are a little blue or to spend  time with when you feel alone.
Dante’s Peak (1997), Cruel Intentions (1997), One from the Heart (1982) and Twister (1997) are some of these old and trusted friends. These movies tell a great story nicely wrapped in action, drama and love. No, they are not art but they make me feel good or help me unwind.

Watching Dante’s Peak, for example, lying comfy under a soft fleece on my sofa, drinking hot Choco while outside a cold and howling wind batters the rain against the windows makes me feel very cosy when my mind is restless or when I feel bad due to a cold or so.

I have added a new movie to this list albeit the reason why is a different one.

Secretary (2002) with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader (as Mr. Grey) is a movie about a young woman who’s recently released from a mental hospital.  Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer. Their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one.
I love this film for various reasons. With the exception of Histoire d’O (1975) I don’t know any other good and interesting movie about our lifestyle. By the way, Histoire d’O is more about a Master/slave relationship and I find it visually a very hot and arousing movie.

A few decades ago, when I attended film school, one of the lecturers, a Sam Peckinpah fan, told us one needed to vision a movie several times. The first time for the movie as a whole and the next few times for the music, montage, camera movements… There lies some truth in this statement and I agree but only for serious and high quality movies.

I’ve seen Secretary a few times and I hope to watch it again soon, this time with Princess.

Gyllenhaal’s secretary character, Lee Holloway, transcends the stereotypical submissive, and Spader’s powerful lawyer uses dominance to mask his own insecurities. He is afraid of letting her come to close. On the other hand he longs for her touch.

Secretary

Lee has a history of hurting herself (cutting, mental institutions, alcoholic father, over caring mother etc.) but finds freedom and empowerment in submission at his hands. Mr. Grey tests her with sexual games, pushing her to the limits of a love he feels he’ll never deserve. In acceptance of the exquisite intimacy of his pain, Lee finally lets go of her own.

 Their relationship is bizarre, unusual and passionate in equal measure. Secretary is, in a very positive way, a weird little film. A relief too in a culture where, even in 2014, being (sexually) different is reason enough for discrimination in some way or another.

Secretary is very real, showing sometimes painfully awkward desires like the longing for connection through shared fetishes, but with intense beauty and compassion.

Some of the scenes where Mr. Grey shows his intense dedication and treats and worships Lee and her body as a precious jewel move me each time to tears. I find them very recognizable as I do exactly the same with Princess. Bathing Princess or washing her hair and drying it makes me so very happy and fills my heart with fathomless tenderness for the love of my life.

The fact the secretary is pictured as someone who has a background of mental illness is, in my opinion, the only negative aspect of this movie. It could create the, obviously wrong, prejudice the BDSM lifestyle is populated with people who have (mental or other) issues.

Secretary

The Ginger Experience

 

She was a catch,
We were a match

I was the match that would fire up her snatch.

 

Mermaids by Nick Cave

 When Princess and I left the vanilla world for a D/s based one, our relationship changed dramatically and, without a shadow of a doubt, for the better. I can state I have never been so close with someone as with Princess. I cannot recall having experienced this level of unconditional, scorching love and commitment before. And I trust Princess with my life.

Like everybody else in the lifestyle we’ve got some soft limits and a few hard limits and we have a very open communication. Oh yes, did I mention trust?

We love discovering new ways to enjoy our love and are both so eager to learn new stuff.

A few weeks ago I stumbled across this post on Christina Mandara’s excellent blog about figging and BDSM. You can find the article here : Figging and BDSM.

It made me very curious and something I wanted to try. I love ginger by the way and I’ve always a root lying around in the kitchen.
Well, here is a tip for pickled ginger by the way.

Make thin slices of a 200 gram ginger root. Boil a mixture of 2,5 dl rice vinegar, 1,25 dl water, 3 tablespoons sugar and one teaspoon of salt. Add a few drops of red beet juice but this is only for colouring and thus optional.

Put the slices in a bowl and cover it with the boiling mixture. Let it cool down. Close the bowl and put it in the fridge for two weeks.
Enjoy.

Princess arrived at my place and I said hello. After kissing her and putting on her leather dog collar I ordered her to undress.
A
fter wrapping Princess in plastic foil from shoulders to belly button I laid her down and finished the first part of my work with a DIY leg spreader.

I used a nipple sucker on her clit and while it did its work I took a piece of ginger root and cut off a slice while Princess, all tied up, could only watch.

She asked me what I was going to do but I told her to wait and see. By the way, Princess is not allergic to ginger.

The nipple sucker did a great job making Princess’ clit much more sensitive. It was red, big and so inviting.
I pressed a slice of ginger against her clit.

Princess’ reactions went thus

00:30′   it feels fuckin’ cold
01:00′   so what is the fuss about?
02:00′   this is feeling a little warm
02:30′   OMG this is so hot… (meowing)
03:00′   stop please
03:20′   Take it away Milord. Please!
03:50′   STOP!!!! (Princess’s safe word is red)
04:30′   Milord, please, release me, fuck me
05:00′   Milord, fuck me please (whining). Anywhere. I want to feel you cock inside me.
06:00′   Meowing, panting and some drooling. Spastic movements. Pussy getting wet, lips opening in despair.
07:00′   Milord, damned you, fuck me. NOW! Please (purring).
08:00′   Hell, I want to be fucked. Anybody??? Is there anybody there who wants to fuck me? (desperate)
10:00′   OMG, Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…. (ending in inaudible whispering)
10:15′   GODAMNED YOU ASSHOLES, FUCK ME HARD. ANYBODY…. FUCK ME

I took away the clothing pegs I used to hold her lips together so the slice of ginger was kept on its place. Then I used scissors to cut away the plastic foil and unlocked the leg spreader.

Grabbed Princess’ hair and pulled her up and over the backside of our couch and took her doggy style using rope around her belly and hips to get a firm grip for fucking her.

It didn’t take long before I exploded. Ejaculated.

Pushed her away, Princess, and went down on her. Gave her a second and third orgasm while drinking my semen, mixed with the taste of ginger, out of her pussy.

Trust me on this.
Ginger is very healthy.

I love tasting it on and licking it from Princess’s pussy.
Ginger on her cunt makes her and me go mad.
I can do whatever I want with Princess.

You can’t though.
Never.
Ever.
Except if you are a chick we both like.

Waiting to be fucked

I’m back

On my way to work this morning I listened to Elbow’s newest “The Take Off and Landing of Everything”. I like this eerie sounding Britpop and tracks like “Fly Boy Blue/Lunette” and “My Sad Captains” are lovely little compositions.

Yes, I’m back.
I can assure you that everything is and has been more than well between Princess and me. Princess is still very happy with here Asus HD7 tablet too.

I kind of lost track though and got buried under a load of powerless rage and frustration.
Without divulging too much it started with the harsh reaction of The Boy when I made a scan. Although I could and can understand the origin of his reaction I was flabbergasted with the harsh intensity. There were some other discussions between Princess and her kids too that worsened my state of mind.
I lost touch and for a few days I felt empty, fearful and unsure. Princess and I had a few conversations by phone that went sour.
It then occurred to me we are locked in a circle. We have no answers in how helping her kids and make everything easier.

Action was needed. It had now become clear we needed help from outside.

Some 6 months ago we met a couple, K&J when visiting the Fetish Cafe in Antwerp. Princess had a very good contact with K. who runs a therapy/coaching business. I remember Princess telling me K. had some very good insights.
At first I felt reluctant using her services. I did not want a starting friendship getting mixed up with very private issues.

After the “scanner incident” it was time to take action so I contacted K. and we visited her yesterday. She took time for this intake and we talked for about 2 hours and felt so much better afterwards. K. offered us very useful tools and presented and surprised us with new insights and thoughts. We will see each other in a few weeks.

Of course things won’t change in a jiffy but eventually we will get there.

Princess and I have a unique and very intense and close relationship. An a strong one too.
I am so very happy and lucky having Princess at my side.
OMG, I so love Princess.

Shirt

 

About orgasms and Princess

I regret I didn’t write down when I first touched Princess’ hand or when and where we first kissed.

Two weeks and a half after we met I took Princess to my photography exposition near Antwerp and afterwards we went to my favorite seafood restaurant in the
The Netherlands. We had a great time, the mussels were delicious and later that day we drove back to my place.
When I kissed Princess it came so very naturally and I will never forget the first time we made love.
It was simply wonderful and very intense.
Unbelievable.

Princess is a gorgeous creature and her inner beauty is simply incredible.

It was by all means pure vanilla lovemaking and I savored her body after intense kissing Princess, undressing her ever so slowly.
I tasted and licked and kissed every spot of her ravishing body. Oh boy, every single square inch was pure ecstasy.

Princess tasted so very good and I couldn’t get enough of licking her warm and wet folds, teasing her swollen clit and then, quite suddenly, the love of my life climaxed and it was a very intense one.

Later, much later, Princess admitted she had felt both shame and surprise during our first time.
Embarrassed because she had orgasmed so easy during. Surprised because she had been able give herself enough to climax.
I smiled and comforted my Love and told her she didn’t have to worry and just enjoy.

Every time we make love Princess climaxes, vaginal or clitoral, depending on how I touch or take her.
This makes me so happy and I love watching the amazement in her eyes, that little smile that goes with absolute and complete gratification. Her convulsing body seeking shelter in my arms and the aftercare I love giving for the absolute intimacy it brings. These are moments where we are so very close to one another.

About a year and a half ago I told Princess about the female ejaculation and I remember how Princess looked at me in disbelief. Telling her I was born on Saturn and moved to Earth after having spend my childhood on Mars would have probably been more credible.

Princess had a zillion questions but I was well prepared and able to satisfy her curiosity. Yet she remained unconvinced, mumbling something about an urban legend.

It took me 4 or 5 months to get there and hot BDSM had melted away the vanilla.

One evening we were making love and Princess was riding me. It is a position I particularly like as I can spank her ass, pinch and scratch her buttocks and back, squeeze and roll or nibble and suck her nipples. But most of all I just love watching her move on and over me.

Princess was very close to exploding and I remember grabbing her hips and pushing my pelvis up in a quick rate.
Suddenly Princess stopped moving, accepting only my hard and vicious thrusts. She then made a strange sound, kind of deep groan. I felt a warm liquid running over my belly, thighs and balls and I knew. I was deeply moved by her trust, her submitting. Simply letting go because everything had fallen in its place.

Princess fell forward, embracing me, breathless, her lips on my face covering it with a million little kisses.
“What happened to me?” she panted. Then a cry of shame “OMG, I have peed.”

I held Princess in my arms, not wanting to let her go.
Ever.

I soothed my Princess and told her how proud I was of my girl. Felt how the pace of her breathing decreased.

I told her she had experienced that urban legend: a female ejaculation.

Princess was not convinced though, still thinking she had peed in our bed. But nevertheless it was an overwhelming experience and I am sure it made her feelings for me even stronger.

I had a hard time persuading Princess but she held back in the weeks that followed. She explained that seconds before this devouring and all-consuming orgasm engulfed her, it felt as if she needed to urinate.

Every time we made love I encouraged Princess to let go completely, to trust me, to trust her body.

Finally she was able to let loose and ejaculated.
And again.
And again.

Hell, I had created a monster.

Every time we make love Princess ejaculates lavishly and I am aware it sounds unbelievable but it is the truth.

When Princess leans over my sofa and I spank her or whip her she becomes so aroused I just have to touch her longing wetness to make her cum, to make her gush and I adore that splattering sound of her delicious juices on the stone floor of our living.
After playing and fucking in our bed I have to change the sheets protecting our mattress. I don’t mind.

One Sunday morning I had to pull the mattress on the terrace so the huge stain could dry in the sun.

When Princess gives she does so abundantly and I love her for that. Princess is, together with my daughters, a unique and valuable present that life has given me.

I love it when I make Princess climax again and again until she pleads for mercy.

I simply adore pushing Princess from that cliff of arousal and watch her fall in an ocean of pure lust and ecstasy.  I can then be her hero and rescue her and hold my Princess in everlasting aftercare.

After all she is my Princess.
My Holy Grail.
My everything.

On the road

About a collar

A little more than a year ago I collared Princess after of course talking about it first. The only thing I now regret is I just put it on her without any ceremonial proceedings.

Princess had mixed feelings about it though. She found the whole idea rather silly. Using a necklace like one does for pets as a symbol for a D/s relation was beyond her imagination and Princess was sure she would not be able to take it serious but see it rather as a mockery.

I on the other hand did not want to get her a mainstream collar like a dime a dozen to be found on the Internet. Unfortunately I am not that handy so making one was not an option either.

One day I went to a pet shop and bought a very finely crafted collar and leash to match made of dark brown and very soft leather, expensive and of a delicate beauty. When I saw it in the store I knew it had written my name all over it. A perfect match it would be for a sexy and beautiful creature like Princess.

Princess liked it because it was handmade and smelled like leather should but her preconceived opinion and revulsion made it difficult for me those first weeks or so to even suggest putting on the collar. So it took some time for Princess to fully accept the collar for what it meant, a symbol of unconditional respect, trust and love mainly but also a token of her gift of submissiveness when we play.

Now she enjoys the moment when I collar her and it immediately brings her in the right mindset.
Lately Princess has mentioned she felt slightly down when I took off her collar after playing. She describes it as a feeling of desolation and I guess it is a mild form of subdrop that occurs after our sometimes very intense playing.
This is one of the reasons I only admit playing on evenings Princess can stay over for the night so I can be sure she is all right.  It helps sleeping very closely in each other’s arms.

Yesterday evening, after our Salsa dance course, we played and it was, like it always is, very intense. One of the highlights was a very passionate flagellation after I had warmed up Princess’ skin with a flogger.

I whipped the love of my love for about 15′ taking no prisoners and making her butt crimson red, working her shoulders too. These latter are one of Princess’ erotic spots and it makes her wince and moan whenever touched in a way I only know how.

The whipping made Princess cum as she always does, uncontrolled and abundantly and I just love the sound of her wetness splashing on the stone tiles of my floor.
I took her in my arms, preventing her from falling on her knees and I held, soothed and comforted her.

Then I took her to our bed and covered her and told Princess I would be back in a few minutes.
I blew out the candles and quickly mopped the floor in our living. Filled our glasses with white wine, made sure her iPhone was on her pedestal cupboard and slid naked under the duvet.

Princess and I cuddled and kissed and I grew hard and then I fucked her silly and she thanked me for every orgasm I gave her. She is a good girl although now and then I still have to remind her of the thanking part.

It must have been way past midnight when I decided to call it a day and ordered Princess to catch some sleep.  I hadn’t cum yet though. Between you and me, dear Reader, I don’t give a damn about cumming myself.  Pleasuring Princess, watching her while she climaxes and knowing I have the absolute power to do the things I do with her are by all means much more fun and pleasurable than me just squirting sperm in or on her.

My pleasure lays way beyond my desire. I orgasm mentally and intellectually each and every time Princess does and it is much more intense than the lame contractions in my lower abdomen and balls.
I made Princess change the soaked sheets covering the mattress after I had flipped it over.

Blew out the candles in our bedroom and kissed the love of my life goodnight. She didn’t say a thing nor complained and soon we feel asleep.

It was the very first time Princess wore here collar while sleeping.
Like I said, she is a good girl.

Princess' collar & leach

The discovery of Princess

September 6th. 2011.
My Ex phoned me late that afternoon on my cellular. She couldn’t make it to the parent’s evening at the school of my youngest daughter and asked if I would go.
Sure, I told her. Hell, I didn’t have anything planned and it was still better than sitting home alone feeling sorry about myself not having someone in my life.

At 19:45 I walked leisurely to the school, entered the entrance hall and was offered a glass of Cava that tasted like cow piss, not that I have any experience in that domain.

Already bored I looked around and then suddenly I saw her. It is so hard to describe what I felt. Like electricity flowing through my body maybe; or as if my heart had been jump started after my sudden death.
She was a magnet to my eyes and it seemed as every light in the hall was contributing putting her in the spotlight, making her long blonde hair shine like pure gold.
Without any hesitation every nerve, every cell in my body knew she was the one, that I finally had found my Grail. My journey, my quest had finally come to its end.

My mouth was dry, my heart beating as mad when I decided to walk up to her and say hi.
O my god, she is so lovely with that voluptuous blonde hair and her beautiful eyes I want to lose myself in.
“Hi”, I said, stumbling over my words, approaching an unknown woman like that, I would never have done that, this was new, I was driven by an unknown force.
She smiled at me and we exchanged names and some small talk.
It turned out she was the mom of one of my daughter’s friends.

I made sure I was in the classroom before she entered, I saw a light hesitation but she came over and sat down next to me. Boy was I nervous, going through the stuff in the desk I was sitting at, pulling out an agenda and reading the name on it.
This was really uncanny; I was sitting at my daughter’s desk.
I pulled myself together, wrote a small note, slid it in her agenda on the date of the next day.
Listened to the speeches, exchanged some words with L. and then it was over and we all left the classroom.
I almost let her go, then, pulling myself together once more I ran for it, saying, stumbling, I would love to see you again.
Once again she smiled and said yes and 10 minutes later I was on my way home with her telephone number on a small piece of paper burning in my pocket.

Our anniversary date is September 20th, and that evening I took her to a sushi bar and we talked and talked. We decided to see each other again.

We made love for the first time 3 weeks later and it was overwhelming, pure, intense and for one reason or another I seemed to be pushing all the right buttons. It was vanilla sex but I had never ever experienced it like this, just pure magic, two people completely connecting, and becoming one as it is supposed to be.

Months later, during one of our long afternoons of heavy breathing I grabbed her hair violently, pulling and forcing her head away from my mouth, I wanted to look her in the eyes while I was fucking her.

Her reaction was immediate, she moaned, sighed and almost came. Her eyes closed, a grin in her face I now recognize as total sexual surrender.
A few weeks later, same reaction when I put my hand on her throat, or later on, using her panties to attach her wrists.

Slowly our lovemaking evolved to a phase where I dominated every inch of her sexuality, using only my hands, legs and an occasional panty to restrain her, controlling her.

Finally that evolved too as inflicting pain started dancing with lust. She told me she desired that I would slap her behind. After that I started pinching her nipples. The first time she used her stop word, but now she can stand even clothespins on her nipples, tongue and labia. She is an avid learner.
She is Princess; my submissive a name that just came up naturally.

It was only a month or two ago we started really talking about our feelings, the shift in our lovemaking. One of the reasons of the strength of our relationship is the fact that we can freely communicate with each other.
We both understood we where now engaging in a real S&M relationship adding some bondage.

Toys were introduced, like a blindfold, leather cuffs and several whips, all different, each responsible for another kind of excruciating pain.
The feeling I have afterwards, taking care of Princess, holding her, comforting her, telling Princess how much I love her is more intense than my own orgasms. Being her Master, in every sense of the world is so incredible gratifying.

This morning we talked again, lying in bed, surrounded by the smell of rough and intense lovemaking. The radio controlled egg I had inserted in her made her go berserk.
She told me she trusted me completely, that I owned her body, her sexuality, that she was committed in pleasuring me.

She is Princess, with a capital P.
Yes, with a capital P.
She gives herself completely but I could not be what I am without her thus in a way Princess is a Master too.

We are one.
Princess and I.