Category Archives: Music, Books & Movies

REBLOG – PRINCESS AND I: A Very Personal Diary: Franco Bolli and Princess

Thank you so much, Maggie, for posting  an article about the eBook Princess and I have created.
This is very much appreciated!

Franco Bolli is a Dominant, and a Facebook friend.

This an account of his story with his submissive, Princess.

It is free, and available only through Smashwords.

You can read the entire article on Maggie’s blog, Sexy Spanking Romance Books by following this LINK

About books and reading

I’ve always been an avid reader.

We did not have a telly at home. My father believed it would destroy family time, the pleasure of being together. Doing stuff like playing with me and later my sis and me. Yep, he was a family man, my father.

I did not read comics either. My father thought the connection between short text and images had a negative effect on imagination. He also believed comics made people lazy and not read real books.

We got a television set shortly after my father passed away. It was 1972. When my mom took me to a huge store I saw all these athletes on a zillion screens doing athletic stuff. I was 13 and missed my father so much it hurt. It was but many years later that I made the connection with the Munich Olympic Games. I had no recollection of the terror that had struck either.

Instead my father took me to the library and made me a member. Told them I could read anything I wanted, that I should not be limited to the kid’s section. There were hardly any Dutch books available. The kids section contained only a handful of completely worn-out books and comics.

We lived in Schaerbeek, a commune of Brussels. It’s at that time was Roger Nols. He was a hardliner and a member of a right Walloon/French party. Dutch speaking people were disliked and seen as less than nothing. One could almost link it with the Apartheid in South-Africa. There was only one small office window in the huge city house. Just to show we Dutch speaking were not wanted.

My mother suffered from migraine attacks and it was not unusual I went to the pharmacy or to a supermarket. I was 8 or so but I still remember the times I was scolded at because I did not speak French when arriving at the counter to pay.

I do know very well how it feels to be rejected because you are in some way different.

I became a very regular visitor of the library. The Wednesday afternoons, when there was no school, I dived deep into Jules Verne and read everything about explores like Marco Polo, Vasco Da Gama and the likes.

When I left my wife I had more books than anything else. Most of them I threw away while moving out. I kept my Black Sparrow Press collection of Bukowski books though.

In 2011 I got a Sony PRS-T1 eReader. It was slow, had no back-light but it gave a good reading experience. I did not get hooked though.

Little A. has it now. Well has it or uses it.

When Princess and I visited Bonn in 2013 we took a look at an awesome bookstore situated in an old theater.

They sold eBook-readers too. Back-light, small and linked to the bookstore.

Gently Princess pushed me into buying the Tolino Shine.  I am glad she did.

You see, during my marriage buying stuff for the kids, buying food and paying for the daily costs was okay. We both worked but whenever I bought something for myself I was angrily told I was an egoist. That we had kids and I should not buy stuff for myself. Years later I left my marriage with a strong sense of guilt and it took a few years of therapy to get the most of it washed away.

I liked this new eReader. At work somebody gave me a stick with about 5000 books (yeah I know).

Lately I have been reading blogs and stuff about BDSM and rope and the such. I don’t have many new books. They take up space and are expensive.
The Tolino had become less used and replaced by my iPad. The reading experience though wasn’t that good. If often left me double sighted after a few hours of reading.

I had read a few books written by Simon Beckett. I loved his crime series around forensic anthropologist Dr. David Hunter. “The Chemistry of Death” (2006) was a delicious read and a high-quality literary psychological thriller.

“Calling the Grave” was his last one and was published in 2010.

A few days ago, while browsing the Internet, I read Simon Beckett had just released a new book in the series.
I got my Tolino Shine and connected it to the huge bookstore in Germany. Created an account and ordered the book as a download for the Tolino Shine.

Previously I had bought eBooks on Amazon reading them on the Kindle App on my iPad.

Germany is a part of the European Union with free traffic of people and goods. I’ve bought rope in the UK and in Germany too. Hell, I’ve ordered stuff on Aliexpress in the recent past.

I was unable to purchase the eBook because I did not live in Germany.
Fuckin’ Shit.

Continue using my iPad and the Kindle app and ruin my eyes?
The Tolino Shine was slow. A huge Belgian bookstore also sold the new Tolino. But I did not want to link myself to a ‘small’ Belgian bookstore and I did not want to get another Tolino either. It made no sense replacing what I already owned by a slightly updated version. Besides, it is not compatible with Mobi nor can it read the Comic format.

I don’t believe one can find an eBook reader that is not linked to a bookstore anymore.

So eventually it was simply about making a choice between the Nook (Barnes & Noble), Kindle (Amazon) and Kobo (Kobo).

I compared the bookstores and then the devices they offered. After an evening of reading a zillion reviews and watching tons of Youtube reviews I decided I would go for the Kobo Aura One.

I have been reading quite a lot these past few days and I do not regret my choice. The image quality is incredible, almost like a printed book. Back-light changes to orange in the evening filtering away the blueish light that seems to interfere with a good night’s sleep. The Aura One is well build and has a few interesting options.

By the way, I am enjoying Simon Beckett’s “The Restless Dead” very much. Signing up with the Kobo Bookstore gave me a 5€ voucher.

Kobo also has “Princess and I, The Early Years” by a certain Franco Bolli on its shelves. It is free. Maybe you should check it out.

Let’s be corny…

My mother was a huge fan of Jim Reeves. She infected me with his music when I was 16, 17. I was a very insecure boy. I had lost my father just a few years before.

At that age I was searching without knowing what I was looking for. A hopeless romantic with a temper. Contemplating suicide, not as an act but more as revenge.

One could say I was emo avant la lettre but I sure as hell wasn’t the only troubled youngster. Some of my friends or acquaintances did not make it. I still cherish their names.

The evenings talking, discussing, drinking beers, smoking an endless chain of cigarettes. And then there was that void some could not coop with.

I desperately missed my father, I felt misunderstood by my mother and all the other grown-ups around me. My grandfather was living with us but sadly had lost it. I felt I was in a constant battle with my younger sister. With myself.
I wanted love but not what it really was. I wanted the love Grace Kelly, Fred Astaire or even Humphrey experienced. Total, consuming, devouring.

When I look back at that particular time of my life I can only feel incredible respect for my mother. She must have missed my father in ways I never understood until now, with Princess and all. It was only after my mother passed away, being to oldest, had to pay her income taxes. Oh boy, she did so much, gave us an education and so much more while dancing with the limits of poverty.

So there was Jim Reeves. And to a certain extent a German dude who sang beautiful Christmas carols about loneliness, farewells and unreachable love. In general my mother hated and despised Germans. World War One and Two, you know. I forget his name but I still have a few of his 33’s in my cellar.

I adored Jim Reeves’ “He’ll have to go” without fully understanding what it was about.

Years later these words would become bitter reality when I discovered that my very first real girlfriend with whom I lived on a small apartment, fucked my friends behind my back. Until this day I don’t have any friends that are close friends. Some wounds never properly heal.

I have come a long way. The insecure boy is long dead. Also gone is the lack of self-confidence. I am very happy with who I have become. And even more happy with that unique woman I’ll  be spending my remaining decades with.

I don’t really miss my mother. She left 10 years ago. I don’t really miss my sister either. I fought for her, helped her convince our mother that she could be happy with a woman. My sister married the woman of her love years ago. Now we have become strangers. We wish each other a happy birthday and there are a few likes on Facebook we give each other.

I do miss my father almost every day. He left 45 years ago.
The image I have of my father is just a polished one, I know. A memory covered with a gorgeous golden patina.

But for some reason I cannot grasp, I would have loved to present Princess to my father. I so want to let him know I have finally found what he had lived for just 13 years.
Absolute love.

I heard it a few times on the radio. The words, the music moved me beyond reason.
The first few times I wasn’t even sure it was him. I’m not a fan but a bigger fan than Princess. She teases me with my appreciation I have for him. Singer, songwriter, 2016 literature Noble prize winner.
Bob Dylan.

Oh boy, this is so fucking beautiful.

I am enjoying Bob Dylan’s new cd, Triplicate at its fullest.
It inspired me to write this post.

Yeah, let’s get corny.

Thoughts – April 19, 2017

Yesterday evening I had planned a rope session. I had prepared everything and made sure there was no candle wax on the bamboo mats any more.
I had a few ideas on how to start the rope session, what tools and tricks I would use to Dominate Princess and how to pleasure her.

When Princess finally arrived I felt I wasn’t in the right mindset to play and to create and make something special happen. Also I sensed Princess being very nervous.
I gave Princess some time to unwind, listened how her day had been. We had a glass of wine and we kissed and cuddled. It helped Princess to relax even more.

We both wanted to play but deep down lacked the enthusiasm. I still could not find the right mindset to do what we both love.

When Princess or I don’t feel like it, if we feel we cannot unwind, or something undefined puts a weight on one of us we don’t play. It is as simple as that. Because if we would we would dine at an exquisite table without enjoying the wealth of taste and odors in-depth.

Not playing at all is far better than feeling an obligation and ending up not feeling satisfied.

“Let’s go to bed and watch a movie,” I told Princess.

So we go comfy under the duvet and I switched on the Raspeberry PI 3 running a home media software called Kodi.
The Raspberry’s sound is converted to digital and then outputted to an Akai Equalizer EA-A7 (mid-eighties) and then goes in the Pioneer A-103 amplifier (1994-96) to a JVC three-way speaker system.

I use a Samsung 27” very fast HD computer screen for output.
The sound and image quality are very good for such a cheap combination of mostly second-hand stuff.

“What movie are we going to see?” Princess asked.

I smiled. I knew Princess wanted to see this movie in spite of so many negative comments.

I wanted to see it after all the fuss about this movie.

To be honest after about 10 minutes in the movie we both almost decided to choose another one.

But then the movie somehow captivated us by it misleading simplicity, the beautiful photography and the many, many winks to older movies.
I found the joy I had when, as a kid, I watched the Fred Astaire & Ginger Rodgers movies.

The music was sublime and both leading actors really great.

Yes, La La Land is one hell of a movie, one we both liked very very much. I guess you need to have some life experience and love the movies to appreciate La La Land to its fullest.

I find Ryan Gosling to be a fine actor ever since I saw him in the excellent The Place Beyond The Pines .

We slept well, Princess and I, holding each other close throughout the night.

This morning we went to a shop specialized in… that’s an entirely different story. More on that later.






Princess and I, Book II

Our first eBook, Princess and I, The First Years,  has been downloaded 40+ times.

Today I have published Princess and I, Book II.
It covers the last few months of 2013, when I moved our blog to a self-hosted site.

Henceforth the next volumes will cover a full year.

You can download our book, Princess and I, Book II, absolutely free and it is available in PDF, epub and Kindle.

I’m sure there are still a few writing errors in this book and I hope everything is well formatted. I checked the links to YouTube and other blogs and updated or removed them when the content was no longer available.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

You can download the book HERE

Front page for our 2nd eBook

Rope Bondage The Smart Way – Book Review

I’ve been tying rope on and off for over 3 years now. We largely prefer floor play over suspensions. For me it is all about using rope to tease, manipulate and dominate Princess. Or for SM.

I don’t apply rope as a technical exercise. It is about being one with Princess. Like dancing the tango, sensual and erotic.
Workshops, online courses and clips helped form my skills. And books of course. They are all about the technical aspects. One needs to know the building blocks. Exercise, building muscle memory, does the rest.
Do I consider myself as an experienced “rigger”? By no means and that is a good thing because I do love the learning process that goes with every skill you want to make your own. It makes you still feel the thrill of finding out something new.

There are some awesome websites that learn the art of Kinbaku. Rope Connections, by Peter Riggs, is one I discovered recently.
Albeit one can find some interesting articles on the technical aspects of rope, this website, this blog, is more about Peter’s personal journey and his experiences with rope. He ties a lot of people so he has quite some experience with the interaction between a rigger and a rope bunny.
Since a few months I visited his site on a regular base reading about his adventures in the world of Kinbaku.

So when Peter announced his first book, Rope Bondage The Smart Way, was ready to be published on Amazon I did not hesitate and pre-ordered.  

I received the book in my Kindle app a few days ago.

I enjoyed the case studies Peter included in his book. They are very valuable because they help you reevaluate your scenes, the way you do the rope.
Other parts of the book made me aware of stuff I am taking for granted and forced me to look at them again.
Obviously I picked up a few tips and tricks about the tying itself.
Based on some case studies I looked into new music to use while doing rope.

For those whom are new to rope this book is invaluable. You won’t learn a bunch of ties, but you’ll look through the eyes of an experienced rigger and learn something more important. You’ll learn how to interact, how to use rope to create a wide variety of emotions when you are tying somebody up.
There are don’ts and do’s before, during and after a rope scene that will help make the scene an unforgettable experience for the model.

Indeed, most books I read were about how to tie this and that knot or combination. Rope Bondage, The Smart Way, gives you the much-needed insight to get the most out of rope bondage. It will increase your ability to do more than just knot and it will help you make your rope bunny feel awesome and happy and safe.

Topics include:

– a guide to effective practice
– strategies for planning your rope bondage session
– case studies to illustrate points and serve as examples
– cheat sheets on positions and the best way to apply bondage for those
– a practical guide for making the session even sexier
– detailed information on “drop” and aftercare
– ideas around getting good photos without having to spend a lot on equipment

Rope Bondage The Smart Way is well written and contains useful links and videos. For those into rope bondage this book contains priceless information.
You can find the book on Amazon but I prefer linking to Peter’s site so you can discover the rich content Rope Connections has to offer.
Highly recommended.

Blurb – Princess and I, The First Years

September 6, 2011.
I’m 52 years old. Father of 2 daughters.
Alone for too long.
I’m open for love, a special kind of love. Not searching actively though.

I have to attend a parent’s meeting at school. Every year it is the same explanation all over again.
I don’t feel like it and I don’t have to go.
It beats sitting at home alone though.

I’m early and head to the big hall where they serve drinks and grab a glass of cava.

Turning around I see this beautiful blonde woman. She looks gorgeous.
I have the impression she is standing there in a golden spotlight. The surroundings fade to black until, in my mind’s eye, she is the center of my universe. Until there is only her.
She does not notice me.

I’m breathless, engulfed with emotions.  Overwhelmed, paralyzed and speechless by the experience. My world flips over and over. Intuitively I know she is the one I have been searching for my whole life.

I walk up to her. It is something I have never dared to do before.
I say hi and we chitchat. Her daughter is a classmate of my youngest one.
Ten minutes later walk to the same class and I make sure I’m inside before she does. I sit down at a desk, she sits down next to me.
Wow. Lucky me.
I’m nervous and start fumbling in the desk before me. I pull out an agenda. To my big surprise I’m sitting at my daughter’s desk. With a smile I put a little note in it.

Later that evening I gather all my courage and ask for her number.
Another first one for me.
My throat is dry and my heart bounces like mad.
She smiles and writes her number down on a small piece of paper.
Oh boy.

September 20, 2011.
We date for the first time and we enjoy a wonderful evening.
She tells me about her situation, just to make sure I know what I’m signing up for. She has 5 kids. Her ex-husband committed suicide 7 months ago. Her eldest daughter suffers from a mental illness.
The other kids all suffer from stress and other issues. Understandably. They found their father shortly after his desperate act.

The first months are difficult. She is not sure about what is happening. She does not feel ready to give herself. She breaks up with me a few times but every time I win her back.
Somehow we make it.
She becomes my Princess and deep down in her I feel and read here submissiveness.
Could it be true?
Have I found my Grail?
That very and unique Special One?

Gradually I make our lovemaking somewhat rougher. Her reactions are more than positive. She adores the hair pulling, the pinching and the occasional slap on her luscious behind.
August 15, 2012.
The town we visit is illuminated with a zillion tea lights. In a church we are awed by a huge chandelier with several dozen of burning candles.
This is the perfect moment to tell her what I have wanted to say for quite some weeks.
For a second I hesitate as I am not sure how she will react.
She beats me to it.
Princess grabs my hand, finds my eyes.
“How I would love to lay under that chandelier. Naked, tied and blindfolded. Not knowing when the next drop of hot wax will fall,” she whispers.

Now I know, now I am sure.
My heart explodes with happiness and sheer joy.
While our relation deepens we gradually grown into BDSM.
My Princess turns out to be a perfect match. She loves what I love. We taste and enjoy the many flavors BDSM has to offer.

Her children oppose to our relationship. It is not personal. They just want to keep the family together.
Their disapproval makes our bond even stronger.

In November 2012 I start a personal blog, Princess and I. It is a very intimate diary mostly about our evolution as a couple in the world of BDSM.
When relevant I write about other stuff too.

March 2017.
I am proud to present the first volume of our story titled Princess and I, the First Years.
You can download it for free on Smashwords. You can choose between PDF, epub or mobi (Kindle)

If you wish you can also follow my blog via

Front page for eBook



Princess and I, The First Years

“I wish I had our blog in print,” Princess whispered, “so I can hold our story, read in it whenever I want.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me, “ I told the love of my life.
“Isn’t it?”

“I’ll make it happen,” I promised, not sure how I would be able to get the whole blog in an editable document like Word or so.

Getting it into a Word document was very easy. Editing was the most time-consuming part.

So today I’m putting up a link to my account on Smashwords. You’ll be able to download “Princess and I, The First Years”.

It’s free and available in PDF, Epub and Mobi.

There is our story, right on you reading device. You’ll find Princesses’ beautifully written poetry and a few articles about my photography.

I’m sure there are still writing errors in this book and I hope everything is well formatted.

This book covers the posts I made from 2012 till 2013 when I moved to a self-hosted site.

It was fun browsing through the articles. I was astonished I had written so much in little over a year. Little over 63,800 words.

In a near future I’ll be putting a next Princess and I online. I have the document covering the articles on till December 31, 2016 already. I think I’ll do a 2013-2014 first and from then one per year.

You can find the book HERE

I would greatly appreciate your feedback.



So long Mr. Cohen

Hineni, hineni*
I’m ready, my lord
I want it darker – Leonard Cohen, 2016

“Well Marianne it’s come to this time when we are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon. Know that I am so close behind you that if you stretch out your hand, I think you can reach mine. And you know that I’ve always loved you for your beauty and your wisdom, but I don’t need to say anything more about that because you know all about that. But now, I just want to wish you a very good journey. Goodbye old friend. Endless love, see you down the road.”
July 2016, Cohen’s farewell letter to Marianne was read at her funeral.

I’ve always loved his beautiful poetry. So deep, intense and often with fathomless wisdom.

Mr. Cohen’s music has accompanied me on my own life’s path. I could find strength or comfort in his words. On a few occasions I was guided by them, sometimes he made me see the obvious.
Listening to his words is like reading one of the best books ever written.

When I learned about his passing, this morning, I felt incredibility sad and lost. Almost as the death of a good friend. I could not help myself but I was unable to withhold my tears.

Few know I am a huge fan because I kept my love for his music and words safely tucked away in my heart.
Not because out of shame. For me his poetry tasted best when close to my heart.

Thank you Mr. Cohen for the beauty of you words, your poetry. It mattered to me, it made a, sometimes huge, difference.
Maybe one day we’ll meet I’m sure.
You’ll talk about Marianne, I about Princess. We’ll smile and write. Enjoy a few beers.

So long, Leonard.

*The word ‘Hineni’ means ‘Here I am’ in a spiritual sense, which is what Abraham says and means to God to indicate his readiness when he is called on in Genesis.

Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio

I find music to be very important during a scene. Over time I created over 20 different playlists just for playing at home.

My choice depends on what I want to accomplish. Princess is very susceptible to music and it helps her in creating the mindset that works best for what I have in mind.

A scene with intense BD and hard SM requires different playlists compared to rope for example.

The Swedish neofolk and martial industrial music group Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio is well represented in my playlists.

Their music is dark and very suited for more intense Domination play or when I want to push Princess into a mindset that includes caves, abandoned cellars and other places a woman would not want to find herself alone.

Yet I don’t use many of their songs in a given playlist though because I do find them quite repetitive. But a handful in a 2 or 3 hour playlist is okay.

Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio is very helpful in creating a certain mood.