REBLOG – Definition of a Dom as seen by Gentleman Doms

Content Credit – I found this on Fetlife, a post by SrMichael under the title “Definition of a Dom as seen by Gentleman Doms”. Much of the content is a partial repost of a blog from “The Eroticists” of a repost of a My Secret Thoughts exchange he happened to come across. Some rewording has been done to accommodate.

I more than second this post as it expresses perfectly my point of view. So without further ado.

A Dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect.

A Dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance.

A Dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to.

A Dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him.

A Dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important.

A Dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That does not necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect.

A Dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A Dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she does not get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he is prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf.

A Dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, day after day.

A Dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most cannot imagine, and a Dom never loses sight of that.

A Dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day.

A Dom is consistent. He understands that he cannot just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a Dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a Dom to earn her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, day after day.

So what does it mean, then, to be a Dom? Some might say that it is all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That is not a Dom. Make no mistake, a Dom does absolutely have his way with his submissive. He loves it when she kneels. He loves and thrives on the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex they have. A Dom loves to dominate his submissive in the bedroom and elsewhere. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, living life with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled, encouraging her in pursuits outside of her service to him. Those are all things that a Dominant does too.

These things do not make a Dom weak. They do not make a Dom less of a Dominant. There is nothing quite as formidable as a Dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely as a Dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be.

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2 thoughts on “REBLOG – Definition of a Dom as seen by Gentleman Doms”

    1. Hello Vile,
      Yes, I found this on Fetlife, contacted SrMichael and then reblogged it. It comes very close to how I consider a (Gentleman) Dom to be.
      Thank you for stopping by.
      Have a great day.

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