Past Saturday I took Princess for a walk.
We walked over a small path next to a river.
On the left-hand bank a big well-kept garden and a 14-century castle and on our walking side grass and woodland.
We passed a huge rectangular pond, obviously manmade. It was still hot and mosquitos were having their way with us. We walked, close to one another.
Nothing else mattered nor was anything more important but us.
Under an old tree we stood still for a while. Stella had called her mother in distress and it was hard for Princess to soothe her firstborn.
You see, Stella is dating.
In a way that is great news. Stella has come from far and she is craving for love and attention. It means she has built up enough self-confidence to start dating.
Sadly there is one little detail that makes it even harder for her. Her new psychiatrist has lowered Stella’s medication so she can get to Stella’s bare emotions more easily in order to discuss and treat them.
As a result Stella hasn’t been very well lately. Fear attacks happen more frequently than before and psychosis is one again a lurking monster panting in Stella’s neck. She has trust issues towards men too and my role thus becomes an ambiguous one. Stella like me and accepts me as her mother’s partner. Yet when she feels she has let me come to close I am pushed away.
Therefore Princess and I were flabbergasted when we learned Stella had invited someone at her place after nothing more than a phone call.
Nothing happened but afterwards we told Stella she was playing a very dangerous game. It struck a chord and that is a good thing.
When Princess told me her daughter was dating I was happy but I told my love it would mean for us doing a lot of damage control.
So Stella meets B. and at first he is nice and cool. Then Stella gets the impression there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. She asks her mother to help her get B. in psychiatric confinement. In Stella’s opinion this will be very beneficial for him.
Let us not forget the sad truth here. With some exaggeration I could say Stella feels quite comfy being in a psychiatric facility like “4”.
After all it is a safe world that takes away her demons and understands her and accepts Stella how she is.
Then something goes wrong and for an untrained eye it could be nothing more than a tiptoeing amoeba.
B. becomes persona non grata, a child abuser, a raving maniac, a loony or a drug abuser. The poor guy gets not so friendly text messages, insulting him, accusing him of unspeakable things.
In between Stella calls her mom a zillion times for comfort, advice or simply to talk. Stella has no notion of time and sometimes Princess’ iPhone rings at 1 or 2 or even 4 in the morning.
When reason takes over once again Stella tries to kiss and make up with B.
This will be in vain of course.
Nobody in his right mind should or would ever accept this kind of treatment.
Well, I guess if someone does he must truly be the One for Stella.
I can only hope Stella will find a loving and caring man who will accept little Star as his own.
Stella really is a very good, caring and kind person.
I sincerely wish Stella and Star to be as happy as her mother and I are.