Pain by Princess

You opened the door,
A very small door,
And I’m not sure
If it has always been there.

You found it,
Opened it ever so careful.
In the dark behind
You saw a tiny flame,
Barely flickering.

This fire desperately
Needed new breath.
It needed
Your gasp.
Making me

I can barely comprehend
What I feel now,
When You give me that
Delicious cocktail of
Pain and gratification.
I drink so greedy,
Too greedy, I’m aware,
As if I have to catch up
With so much
Lost time.

Feed me with pain,
Because I can not live
Without anymore.

Drive me mad
With pleasure
And Lust.
Hear me yearn
And beg
For more.
So much more.
Your hands on
My body
Are now my
Vital breath.
Your hands
Petting and caressing
With love.

Your hands
Hurting me,
And offering me
Everything I want.
Everything I need.
Help me, my Love,
Help me lose
And find You
Time after time after time.
I’m yours
Until there is
Nothing more.

A door

In memory of Lou Reed

We were at the Salsa dance lesson, Princess and I, and the instructor had just told the group to take five.
My love and I went back to our table when I felt my iPhone beep and buzz in my pocket.
I smiled at Princess and looked at the display thinking it was a message from Little A.
Or Big A. for that matter, unfortunately our relation is not going very well so any sign of life is welcome.

Lou Reed died aged 71 it read on the display.

For a moment I felt tears burn in my eyes. I gave Princess a hug and felt so sad. Stupid of course, I never met him, never saw him perform but his music was important to me.
So thank you Lou Reed, for the music and the lyrics and I know you made a difference for lots of people.
Personally I did not appreciate the hard rock ‘n roll but one can not discuss taste. I loved your ballads and love songs.

Some of my personal favourites are Songs For Drella, Coney Island Baby, The Bells and Berlin.

I was in a record store and one of my friends, a few years older, directed my attention to LP Coney Island Baby. He told me the title song was sheer beauty, something to fuck on, slow and intense. I looked at him and his words struck a chord but at that time in my life I could not relate to what he was telling me.
Boy, I was 16, hadn’t a girlfriend and I wouldn’t see nor touch naked titties for years to come.
I still have the record, the friend a long forgotten memory though but I guess that is how things go in life.
I bought the record though and yes, Coney Island Baby, what a record and what a song. Lou Reed a fascinating discovery.

So here it is.
Coney Island Baby.

Thoughts – October 23, 2013

It is my free day and I’m sitting here waiting for a guy to show up and put back the kitchen cupboard under the sink. They took it away a few weeks ago because there was a leak in the plumbing.  Every time after washing the dishes the chick that lives on the lower story, just beneath my place, rang my doorbell to complain because the water was running down over her window, luckily for her on the outside.

Past Monday Princess invited me to our local Cultural Center for a theater play in favor of the underprivileged. Although the piece did not transcend the quality of a low-budget school play it was confronting. Poverty can struck anyone. Job loss, illness, a bad divorce and when you are alone you are even more vulnerable.

Another problem is the fact that getting credit for buying that really expensive flat screen TV with that top of the bill sound system is so easy and it is even easier to forget that several small and amortize loans make, at the end, one big one.

Princess had a bad day at work though and was extremely stressed and going out didn’t help unwind her either.

So back home, enjoying a glass of Shiraz, Princess looked at me and I noticed an almost undetectable hesitation before she took a deep breath.

“Would you please spank me? I really need it and it will help me relax. Please?”

I smiled, knowing asking this was a big step for my love and took her in my arms, positioning her over my lap and pulled down her jeans and panty and gave her a good one. Yes, I know what the love of my life needed and I enjoyed every single moment giving it to her too.After a while I stopped and her bum was crimson red and I felt her skin burn and she smiled and kissed me and crawled in my lap.


For a while we sat there, Princess and I and it was such an intimate moment.
And once again I felt her hesitate before she addressed me.
“Please, Milord, I want more and…”, she said.

I waited, stroking her hair, making her feel comfy.
“And…” she continued after a while, “please, hurt me hard. I want to feel pain so much.”

I got up and went to our bedroom and got a pair of nipple clamps and the Wartenberg wheel out of the chest of drawers where I keep our toys.

Seated in the sofa I pulled her over my lap again and started with a new session of bare hand spanking, hard and relentlessly.
I’m sure the clover clamps hurt as hell certainly when I used the wheel of pain on her squeezed nipples.

There is no cry

Princess thanked me a zillion times and then, later, in bed, I took her and made her cum a few times, enjoying how she squirted abundantly against my thighs and belly.
While she cleaned up in the bathroom I pulled of the wet covers from our bed, tipped over the mattress and made the bed with fresh sheets.
We slept close to one another, Princess and I, yet it took some time before I fell asleep.
It had been a memorable night as the D/s dynamic between us had slightly changed in a positive way.  I’ll be writing about this more extensively very soon.

This afternoon I upgraded my iMac with the new OS Mavericks and everything went very smoothly, no surprises there.


Past Friday I got an iPhone 4s from work and I immediately upgraded it to iOS 7.xx but today the thing told me there was a new update and now the iPhone is running iOS 7.03.

iPhone 4s

I’ll be missing my Acer S500 Android phone as I find the Android look and feel much more attractive compared to the iPhone. I spent an hour using Photoshop modifying an Android background so it would fit the iPhone resolution and added a modest BDSM logo making it seem as an extra app 🙂

Later on Princess is coming over and I’m looking forward holding her in my arms again.

I am not sure yet if we will play or watch a movie although I would like us playing very much.


I miss you, Princess by Franco Bolli

I miss you
At night,
Those hours so dark.
When the wind howls,
And rain clatters,
A thousand threatening knuckles
Against the window
Of my bedroom.
When sleep is just
A faraway memory.
And I am
Left alone
With the scary monsters
From a long forgotten

I miss you,
Lying under a blue sky,
Burning sun
On my skin.
Craving for your
Soft rubbing hands
And sunblock.
Intense moments
I cannot share with you.

I miss you,
When I want to cry,
And need to
Hide in your arms.
Longing for
Your comforting words,
And tender gestures.
Feeling protected
And wanted.
When I need you
To make me laugh



I don’t want to be pretentious but now and then I make a photograph that, for some reason, transcends those I generally take.
Why I don’t know, it is more a subjective feeling than anything else, and has nothing to do with the fact of the image being technically perfect or not.

I took this portrait of a scorpionfly a few months ago with my Olympus E-PM1 and a simple manual CCTV-lens. This 25mm f1,4 lens is only partially sharp and acts more like a lensbaby than a serious lens but in macro mode one can create really beautiful pictures with it.

When I first saw this photograph on my 27” iMac screen I fell in love with it simply because it visually pleases me very much.

I like the lustrous green and patches of bright light in a world of shadows around the fly with mainly only the insect sharp and with a very shallow depth of field. The wide-screen view makes it stand out even more.


The Butler

As Cecil Gaines serves eight presidents during his tenure as a butler at the White House, the civil rights movement, Vietnam, and other major events affect this man’s life, family, and American society. – source IMDB.COM”

Forest Whitaker in The Butler

We don’t go that often to the movies, Princess and I. Mind you, not that we don’t want to but our time together is limited to a few evenings a week and an afternoon once in a blue moon. There is so much we want to squeeze into our moments together like going to the sauna, shopping (yes…), our dance lessons, dance training, reading in bed, playing and so forth.

The last movie we saw in a theatre was the biopic “Lincoln” and we adored it.

So when Princess texted me yesterday afternoon and asked if we could go to the movies I was thrilled to bits.
Later that evening I picked Princess up at her home and we went to see “The Butler”.

“The Butler” is a typical frame narrative and the personal story of Mr. Cecil Gaines, a magnificent Forrest Whitaker, is used to tell the history of racial segregation and the long and slow emancipation of the Black Citizens in the United States.
The movie starts in 2009 while Mr. Gaines is waiting in the White House and then switches to a cotton plantation in the 1920s when Gaines is a little boy and ends, of course, when Barack Obama becomes the first colored President of the USA.

Lot’s of well know historical characters pass in review, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Reagan et al.
Mr. Nixon, played by John Cusack, is predictably depicted in a very negative way, Mr. Reagan seems indifferent to Civil Rights, something I find hard to believe.

To my astonishment Martin Luther King was only a minor character in the movie and if memory serves me right the name of George Wallace, one of the hardliner segregationists and populist and Governor of Alabama, was not even mentioned.

I am sure there are some historical inaccuracies in this movie but even then this is a highly educational film about a dark period in American history.
Sadly segregation, racism and hatred against those whom are different are of all times. I hold my heart when I see how around me, in Europe and elsewhere, the extreme right body of thought is, once again, slowly becoming popular.

Ophra Winfrey is not that well know in my country so I was pleasantly surprised to discover this grand lady as a great and extremely convincing actress.

The Butler” is a wonderful historical drama and very much worth your time.

The Butler


Thoughts – October 11, 2013

It is really hard finding time to write when Little A. is staying with me and that is okay. I prefer spending quality time with my youngest when she is with me rather than juggling with words.

Tomorrow, Saturday, I’m going shopping with Little A. With her lovely smile she asked me to buy her a pullover adding she wanted something from me she could have with her every day. Isn’t that so very cute?

I’m still contemplating on the scene Princess and I played Tuesday and you’ll be reading about it very soon.

Princess came over last evening, we talked awhile and then went to bed and after some intense cuddling we fell asleep close to each other.
I love it when Princess spends the night with me, her warm skin against mine feels so good, so comfortable and so intimate and I feel safe.

My love also wrote a beautiful poem that took my breath away, it is very intense and so well written. I’ll be posting it soon, just have to translate it.
I am so very proud of Princess.

Princess and I also signed up for RopeStarters on December 6 in the Fetish Café in Antwerp. We got the confirmation yesterday too.

The schedule of the night:

21:00u – 22:00u: an elaborate bondage demonstration addressing different aspects and possibilities about bondage. Every time there is something else to be seen.

22:00u – 00:00u: elaborate bondage class: You’ll be learning useful and handy basic techniques, with much attention for safety, all you need to know about ropes, general safety and some very important principles. You’ll discover what fun things you can do with bondage!

00:00u – 01:00u: conducted practice: The techniques you got thought earlier can be practiced further at your own speed. There is time to ask for personal advice, so you make sure you use the techniques correctly.

01:00u – 02:00u: free practice: Practice your new skills further, or try something new with it. If you’re interested to get bound, this is possible.

More info on the English site

We are so looking forward to this class.



New toys, new pleasure

Princess came over to my place yesterday evening. I had prepared a scene and we played for nearly three hours and it was intense and we both enjoyed being so very close to one another. I’ll try to write about it this afternoon, if I can that is. Little A. will be here at noon, after school, and stays with me till Sunday early evening. And I got two emails from Big A. asking to read and correct the attached documents, schoolwork, adding she needed them this evening.

I bought some new toys for the occasion.

We’ve been talking about it for some time and for Princess was not sure if she would like the feeling or sensations she imagined it would give.
Past Saturday, at the Fetish Club, we noticed a couple using one but were unable to detect the sub’s reactions.

When I introduced it yesterday during our playing, Princess was blindfolded; she went out of her mind and loved the toy instantly as it gives an incredible deep sensation of pain but also well feeling.

Wartenberg Wheel

The Wartenberg Wheel Of Pain is now a very appreciated toy in my collection.

I remember one of the first times we discussed playing and BDSM and Princess told me the idea of a clothespin on her nipples was something she immediately categorized under Sheer Horror and when I tried it she found it an awful experience.
Well, that was more than a year ago and now nipple clamps need to be heavy stuff before Princess even blinks an eye.
She like them, they give a completely different sensation compared to Clover Clamps and are more painful.

Nipple Clamps

The third toy was not really a toy and completely a-sexual but very effective.
A tie I’ll be wearing on my black shirt.

I wanted to give Princess the same feeling she will have the next time we’ll be at the Fetish Café.
Barely dressed amidst well dressed Doms.

Princess won’t be overdressed for the occasion, au contraire, and she better gets used to the idea.

Preparing a scene

Princess and I have some catching up to do since we were not able to play past Saturday in the Fetish Café. Fortunately the love of my life is feeling better now. I guess it is me who passed the little bug to her, the one that kept me home from work on Monday.

This morning I emailed Princess the rules.

1. Text me some 20’ before you leave.
This gives me a window of 30’ before Princess arrives so I know when to activate the scene like lighting candles, preparing the playlist on my iMac and having the remote at hand. It also gives me time to get dressed.

2. Ring the doorbell.
Princess has the keys to my apartment and she can let herself in. This time though I want her to ring the doorbell so I can open the door and let her step right into the scene I have prepared.

3. There is no dress code so come as you are.
Princess is free to appear in a worn out training or in a cocktail dress, I really don’t care. I’m pretty sure she is now wondering why this time  I am not stringent about her clothing.

Pretty simple and clear don’t you agree?

Princess knows I am probably going to introduce something new during this scene and it is called shrink foil.

This is all I am going to reveal. Princess reads my blog too.

Wartenburg Wheel of Pain