Prelude to Erotic Asphyxiation

Wednesday, October 7th.

Tuesday evening is for us, Princess and I.

Yesterday it was not though. Kay, Princess’ youngest, had made an appointment with her therapist and Princess was unable to cancel.

So when Princess arrived at my place it was later than normal.

Princess was jacked-up and needed a spanking. I gave her that but reluctantly because the walls are thin and after 10 pm people have the right to complain/call the police whenever they feel there is noise pollution.

I did my best to relief Princess and I loved the flogging and whipping rhythm I had built up. Yet I made a shortcut and helped Princess cum quicker than I really wanted.

Then in bed I decided I wanted to try out what I had in mind for our next play date, Thursday if all goes well.

Edge play works best if all pieces fall into place and mindset is the most important piece of the puzzle. You cannot get the most out of edge play without, at least, triggering stuff by using words, a description, a setting, a story.

So I decided not to talk, not to tell a story. Not to use the stuff that makes mind/edge play so intense. I wanted to know if the act itself was strong enough. Adding a few layers would be beneficial.

In bed we made love. I squeezed Princess’ nose and laid my hand over her mouth. Did my best not to suffocate her but to make her gasp for air.

I did get a lot out of the act. It satisfied my sadist me in ways I cannot describe. Erotic asphyxiation is about TPE and trust but a sadist can also get off on it.

The fucking and shutting down her air supply in a rather basic manner, without making Princess helpless, gave her such intense orgasms they even flabbergasted me.

I have a scene in mind. It will be about breath control. Yet I know there are a myriad of other buttons to press when it comes to satisfying Princess.

Kneeling, deep-throating and pain.
And other stuff.


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A different Wednesday

Star, Stella’s daughter, is staying full-time with Princess. Sadly, Stella is still admitted in psychiatry and not doing well at all.

On Wednesday mornings, 06:00, Princess jumps out of our bed, drives home and takes care of The Boy, Kay and Star. After dropping them at school Princess comes back to our place till noon.

Star had no kindergarten today so Princess, Star and I spent the morning together. It was really fun and indeed something else than the intense lovemaking on other Wednesday mornings.

Yet I had forgotten how zappy a 3-year-old can be. It was impossible to have a descent conversation with Princess because after two sentences Star starts pulling our attention back to her again.

We went for a walk and that too was a completely different pace I am used to. Hugging Princess did not make Star jealous, she hugged with us.

Yeah, it definitively was fun and being with Star took away one of my concerns. I know that later on she will be staying a lot with Princess as I cannot imagine Stella having what it needs to be a full-time mother. These are not words of criticism but reality. Stella is a wonderful mother but after a short time, a few hours, she can’t coop with the situation anymore.

So I find it very important Star continues to see me regularly so we can strengthen our bond. This will be very beneficial when the day arrives Princess and I can live together.

Yes, I enjoyed the time with Princess and Star very much. We still connect and that is great.

Princess and I have lots of quality time, even when Little A. is staying with us. After all my youngest daughter is almost 16 and likes to privacy of her room.

Star is very lively but still needs the attention and care of us.

Yet I had to adapt myself to this situation but I guess that is only normal.


I wrote this in Word (sometimes I use Scrivener) and then I logged into my admin-account.
It did not work and I was unable to login.
I tried again, with a different web browser, then I started my Window 10 machine and, well, no good either.
I had FTP-access though.
Checked the date stamps, there was nothing suspicious. Yet whatever I tried I did not get in admin-mode.
By now I was near absolute panic because the autistic me, sometimes very present, was now fully activated.

Mind you, my site was still online and working correctly. I had only lost admin privileges.

Plan A. was to contact my host service and while I was composing a message I was already busy with Plan B, a new provider and restoring a backup of my website. Yes, I make one after every post. Plan B. emerged without me knowing whose fault it was. The autistic me simply wanted things to be like before.
Plan B. never hatched because the web hosting company is a serious and correct one.

Thank you,, my web hosting provider. Less than 1 hour after my call the problem was solved. It seemed they did a system-wide upgrade and a few things went wrong. Shit happens, I know, I am an IT-professional. I understand upgrades are important. I understand things can go wrong.

The reacted quickly and communicated well. They took my problem serious even though I am not a big shot customer.
That I won’t forget.

So, thank you Neostrada for an incredible service.


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Fetish Cafe – 15th Anniversary party

Saturday, October 3th, 2015

We are on our way to Antwerp. This weekend is the 15th anniversary of the Fetish Café and they are throwing a party.

I hand over a gift wrapped box. It is big and heavy. Impatiently Princess rips the paper apart, opens the box and…

“Oh my gosh, Milord,” she shrieks, “it is really huge.”

She is holding Terrific Truman in her hand, looks at it, weighs it, pushes the buttons. It weighs 300 grams and the shaft, before it hits the controls, is 13 cm (5.11″) long. The thickest part is the corona of glans and measures 15 cm (5.9″) in diameter.

Ladies, I know, size is not that important. It is what you do with the tool that counts.

“You’ll have to wait till we are back home,” I tell Princess.
She is testing the vibrator by holding the glans in her fist while switching through the 8 patterns.

Then we are in Antwerp, at the Fetish Cafe.
Here we feel at home midst our fellow kinksters.

Princess and I are welcomed by slave E. the property of Master R., the man who made a dream come true when he founded the Fetisch Cafe back in 2000.

I head over to Master R. and congratulate him. He is a little surprised but I can see how my gesture is highly appreciated.

We receive a gift, a lanyard, and a glass of excellent Cava. The bar is crowded and filled with animated chatter.

Fetish Café Lanyard
Fetish Cafe Lanyard

Nobody playing in the Dungeon. We find a table and after a short while I start a conversation with a young Mistress who’s also sitting at our table.

Then her attention is pulled away by a man who starts a very heated and animated conversation with her, ranting about Doms whom behave bad.

Later on we make contact with him. He is funny and very friendly and open. Apparently he was a Dungeon Master in another BDSM club and finally got fed up with the bad behaving Doms whom think the playground is only theirs.

We talk for a while and we agree to befriend each other on Fetlife.

There is a lot to see. Latex, leather and so on. There are so many people attending this special evening.

I lead Princess to the Dungeon. I know she likes to play but I am not in the mood and there is way too much people.
The Dungeon is also crowded. There is a Shibari demonstration going on and it is fun to watch although I find the interactions between the married couple missing that special sparkle that can make rope work so intense and intimate.

A man is tied to a Saint Andrew’s cross by a blonde Domina in a pretty latex dress with an open back.

Appearances can be deceiving. I would never had seen in this man with a Mad Max sort of appearance with his heavy combat boots, long leather coat and ditto pants as a submissive. Maybe he is a switch.
Their play is intimate and slow.

“Come,” I say and we leave.

Drive home where we arrive little past midnight.
I take a quick shower and while Princess does something in the bathroom I lit candles in our room.

Minutes later she is lying on our bed. Naked except for her stay-ups. We kiss, I caress her breasts, tease her nipples then pussy.

Princess makes the right moves, the right sounds.
“Good girl,” I tell her.

I go down on her, lick and dance with my tongue, pleasuring her wet folds, soft and warm.
When I sense Princess is near an orgasm I stop.

I take Terrific Truman in my hand and push the buzzing and trembling glans against her pussy. Princess squirms or whimpers or both depending on what program I have selected.

“I want to feel it inside me, Milord, please,” she begs, hungry for relief.

I put some lube on the vibrator and then…

Princess is so hot is slides in her with astonishing ease.

I move it, gently, in and out, while changing patterns, increasing and decreasing vibration speed, watching closely how Princess reacts.
Trying out to find the ones she likes the most.

It takes a long time for her to reach an orgasm.
Princess tells me it is a good one but not earth shattering.

“Your cock is what makes me truly mad,” she adds.
Princess is a darling.

But it is late, early in fact, so we go to sleep.

This morning, Sunday, we made love again. When I push myself in Princess she is still dozy. I fuck her hard, violently, pulling hair, kneading her breasts.

Later on, Princess straddled herself over me, fucking me, hungry or maybe desperate for yet another relief.

“Come for me. Now,” I hiss, slapping Princess 3 times hard on the jaw.

Instantly I see how her body starts shaking and I feel Princess’ hot juices run between my thighs wetting the bed linen even more.

Terrific Truman is a powerful vibrator and it will have its use.

I prefer to use my body limbs on order to make Princess cum.

We had a terrific Saturday evening and an intense and loving Sunday morning.
Way to soon it was almost noon so I had no other choice than to drop of Princess at her place.

The party at the FC was not like this one though...
The party at the FC was not like this one though…
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A few weeks ago I accompanied Princess to her physician. Princess’ IUD needed to be removed.

Princess was a little flabbergasted I did not stand next to her doctor and witness the procedure. I wanted though.
I wanted to see it.
But as a Dominant respect is high on my list.
I had never met her physician and the idea of looking over her shoulder, asking for consent, on a first meeting, did not appeal to me.

Now, while writing this, I wish I would have the IUD hanging on a silver chain, around my neck, as a token of Princess’ purity. Sometimes we need to act on the moment itself which I didn’t. I regret it but I learned a lesson. After 4 years I still can’t say what is right or wrong when it comes to more explicit things. Like wearing Princess’ UID as a token.

That same morning her doctor took a swab too. I figured that would be it.
I was mistaken.

Princess had an appointment just a few days ago because her doctor had informed her not all was well.

So there we were, Princess and I.

Princess had documented herself, I had come unprepared. I do not know what is best and it is a discussion but I like to keep an open mind.

Turned out some HPV values were to high and Princess needed a colposcopy.

Princess’ previous swab, tow years ago, gave even higher values but in the 2015 test they had receded.

At that time the doctors had not been alarmed. Now her physician was.

Is it a difference in school? Experience?
I don’t care.
In a few weeks there will be a colposcopy and we’ll take it from there.

Let me be very clear on this. We are not alarmed yet, it is on our mind though. It is a part of her life, my life, our life. We have decided to share this with you. I hope this will be contained in only a few posts.

We talked about sharing this on our blog. Because we consider this blog as a personal diary I will be writing about it.

I am, we are, open-minded and almost everything goes. But for the first time I have to ask. Please, if you feel the need to react on this post or its threads, please do so in a positive way. We are NOT open to doomsday scenarios or doomsday reactions.


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Terrific Truman by Mystim – A preview

After a fantasy Princess started I found myself buying a vibrator. I choose for the Mystim Terrific Truman in the form of a ‘real’ cock.

I did not choose for a (Hitachi) Magic Wand because I do not want to rely on an outlet and I love pushing stuff in Princess’ vagina.

I own a small and relatively powerful Magic Wand. It came cheap and eats batteries. It does the job though. Yet I do not like the idea that a toy with a new set of batteries does not perform the day after. It means there is an electronic malfunction and this could eventually harm Princess. Never dealt with a defect condenser did you?

There are a zillion vibrators on the market.
I hesitated between the Terrific Truman and Sizzling Simon. The latter adds electrical stimulation for the pelvis floor. Sounds interesting but not enough to splash the extra 50 Euro.

First of all I am on a budget and I can’t exactly say to Little A. she has to sleep under a bridge for a mont because I was not able to pay for boarding school due to an excessive investment in sex toys for Princess.
Little A. loves Princess but then again not that much to sleep in a cardboard for a month.

Then I have the Mystim Tens-unit and they have a Don Juan anal/vaginal probe to enjoy deep stimulation.
I think the Don Juan would make an awesome gift for under the Xmas Tree. Yeah, I am convinced it would be a winner.

Terrific Truman promises 8 vibration programs and 5 intensity levels.
After the VW scandal we can’t be sure anymore.

I did not shove the darn thing up my ass but instead held the glans in my hand and switched trough the programs. One thing I can tell you for sure. Princess is going to have a blast. And a lot of homework (washing the bed linen).

It trembles, bites and moves and I cannot imagine anyone going to the top-level of the program.
Well, except Princess. Sometimes I think she invented the saying curiosity killed the cat.

Terrific Truman and USB-charger.
Terrific Truman and USB-charger.

The unit comes in a well build carrying case and two free samples of lube. Bonnie and Glyde and The Goldfather. This proves the sex and porn industry still are very silly when inventing names.

Charging the unit is very simple. There is an USB-cable that plugs into your computer and the other end connects magnetically on the unit.

Clip-on magnetic USB-charging
Clip-on magnetic USB-charging

I am looking forward to an era where connecting the toy to your computer adds data. How many orgasms, how intense and so on are recorded in an Excel Spreadsheet.

The Mystim Terrific Truman comes in a handy packaging
The Mystim Terrific Truman comes in a handy packaging

Imagine the fun having your sub count her orgasms and check it against reality. It would add a whole new dimension to punishment.

I went to a shop and bought the Mystim Terrific Truman based on my own choice. Nobody helped me, the toy was not given to me nor did I enjoy a discount.

Selfie by Terrific Truman
Selfie by Terrific Truman
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A threesome with Princess, I and…

In human sexuality, a threesome is sexual activity that involves three people at the same time. Threesome can also refer to a love triangle, a three-way romantic relationship. Though threesome is most commonly applied to a casual sexual activity involving sexual activity among three participants, a threesome may also be found in a long-term domestic relationship, such as polyamory or a ménage à trois.
(Source Wikipedia)

When you stand at the foot of our bed I sleep at the left side.
Why you might ask?
The answer is simple. The door to our room is also on that side. So if a horny burglar breaks into our room I am the first one to get fucked. And after that I hope he (or she) will be too exhausted to take Princess.

Yesterday we were making love, Princess and I. One of my favourite positions is starting on top and then pull Princess over so we lie on our sides, face to face. I can lift her leg, tease her breast, tug hair. If I move to a more 90° position, then it is easy to play with her clit, both breasts and nipples and, when needed, move to her other entry and continue there. Then of course I do not move back to her pussy but that should be obvious.
Princess was lying with her back to door.

“Imagine,” I whispered, “a burglar entering our room.”
Princess did not answer. She was way to busy trying to keep a forbidden orgasm away as long as possible.
“He would see your delicious ass and I’m sure he’ll drop his pants. Well, I would…”
She smiled.
“He would force his way into you rear entry…”
“Mmmmm…” Princess sighed. “That would be great. Me being sandwiched, warm between two horny males.”
I did not get to answer.
“There would be great fun for you to, Milord,” she continued.
“Oh, how is that?” I asked, a little perplex because she seemed to take the fantasy to another place.
“We’ll, you would feel his dick in me and I am sure the idea of you rubbing his dick inside of me would make you insanely mad.”

Princess had a point there and the thought made my cock even harder.

“Does he get to kiss you?” I asked.
“No way, that is only for you, Milord.”
“Maybe I’ll just get out of bed and enjoy directing the burglar and enjoy what I see?”
“Please no, I would want you next to me, otherwise the excitement could make me faint.”
Seemingly my Princess had already thought it over.
“Maybe the burglar would be a she?” I tried.
“Nah, I prefer a strong man. Well, his has to listen to your directions of course. And wear a rubber.”
At this point I became a little worried that she was actually talking me into a threesome. Kind of topping from the bottom so to speak.

“And where should he take you?” I stammered.
“That would of course be your decision, Milord,” she beamed, clearly nearing an intense orgasm.

Holy cow, I my mind’s eye I could almost see myself presenting some dude to Princess. Something like ‘Hi Sweetheart, meet Average Joe, he is going to help me fuck you thoroughly tonight.’

I shook my head as to chase all those images because they were making me insane with wicked lust.

“So he could use your, err, backdoor then?” I hesitated.
“If he is careful, why not? But I prefer it would be you, Milord, you do that stuff very well…”

I swallowed my despair away.
“If he fucks you in your pussy, then does he get to play with your boobs?”
She smiled. “I already told you Milord, that would be entirely up to you.”
“What if he fuck better than me?” Yeah, I know. Weak. Male insecurity.
“That, I am sure, Milord, won’t happen in a million years. There is no man in the whole wide world that can outfuck you.”
Shit, Princess was really dead serious about it.

So what did I do next?
I did not slap her in the face yelling ‘you fuckin bitch, read my lips, you will not have a threesome as long as I live.’
I wanted to but then I thought, fuck, that is something dangerous to say.
Imagine a little push in the stairway hall.
A bad fall.
Farewell Franco and then threesomes galore.

Not without me was my second thought.
If you can’t beat them then join them.
She wants a threesome?
Well, I’ll give her one she’ll never forget.

Finally I did slap her in the face and hard, mind you.
But only to make her cum.
Princess came and kissed me and held me and told me a zillion times how much she loved me.
Told me I was her god.
‘Mmm,’ I thought, ‘unfortunately a god with only one penis.’

She left at 06:00 this morning and I stayed in bed.
Slept for a while.

Got up.
Brushed my teeth and took a shower.
Made some coffee.

Went online.
I am a Dominant and need to be on top of things, no pun intended.
Googled ‘threesome, volunteer, young, horny, hard, big, Belgium, cute’

Even if I don’t like it I want to make Princess happy. Maybe I’ll even enjoy it too. Mmm… I am sure I would.

Finally, after a few searches, some pondering and so on I finally made my choice.
I hope Princess will approve and if not I’ll simply blindfold her so in her mind she can fill in the visuals, whatever, Donald Trump, George Clooney, Poetin, …

So this weekend, Saturday evening or Sunday morning, Princess and I will have a threesome.
His name is Mr. Truman but he is better known as Terrific Truman. I got lucky, he was still free.
He is German and travels around Europe to pleasure couples whom need an extra “hand”.
Did I mention he is African, another juicy detail?
And after I received Terrific Truman’s selfie I was completely convinced this was the guy we needed.  That Princess would enjoy deeply, no pun intended, being fucked with this cock.

I am sure Princess is going to scream with joy and pleasure.
I have decided to take her from behind. I will let Terrific Truman fuck her pussy and let him do it without a rubber.
I cannot wait to feel his cock against mine.

Oh boy.

Selfie by Terrific Truman
Selfie by Terrific Truman
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Erotic Asphyxiation

Princess and I were watching a clip on Vimeo. It was about rope play and it was simply hot and beautiful. I wrote about this 9’ clip in a previous post, Shibari – Personal Connection: Rope & Pain.

“I love breath control,” Princess told me.

Found this on Google. Please let me know it this is your artwork so I can credit you.
Found this on Google. Please let me know it this is your artwork so I can credit you.

Princess’, and my experience, is limited to my hand on her throat. It is more about the gesture than the act itself. I don’t actually squeeze the life out of my Sweetheart. After all I don’t want to harm her in any way.

Imagine hearing the dry snap of a crushed larynges. Imagine me telling her kids I killed their mom by accident.
During sex!

I think they will dislike and hate me even more than they already do.

Funny though how we, Princess and I, travel in the same direction.


Yesterday, watching the end of the Shibari movie, gave me some inspiration on how to introduce breath-play to Princess in a safe and sane environment. Notice how I left the consensual part out. Sure thing breath-play is within the limits we discussed.
Princess and I review these limits regularly as every new experience creates new possibilities. We need to be in sync to make things work.

I am not going to divulge the scene I have in mind yet, Princess reads this blog too. All I can say is that it will involve plastic foil wrapping and stuff I’m going to get in a sports shop.

When I close my eyes, lay back on the bed and think about breath control I see rubber or latex gas masks with ribbed hoses or a canister in front of the mouth so the mask looks like a fly.
I see large round windows for the eyes, maybe made of darkened glass. With this we are moving to what some people might see as edge play.
There are photography possibilities too.
I don’t know why but these BDSM gas masks I find visually very erotic.

I’ll start with the simplest of all.
Just basic breath control with a reasonable amount of fear to make it hotter.
We’ll see how that goes and take it from there.

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Shibari – Personal Connection: Rope & Pain

This is beautiful rope work. There is this intense interaction between the rigger and the model.

I see this less as a rope session but more as a scene between a sadist and a masochist.
Oh boy, when he bites in her thigh! Simply maddening and I felt a hot shiver of pleasure dance through my body.

Notice the untying, an art in its own right and often forgotten by newbies. Yet very important as it helps the model untie herself mentally from the scene. One should never be awaken in a sudden manner.

Then there is the aftercare, so close, so intimate, which I adore and appreciate.

I hope you’ll enjoy this video as much as I did.

I found this Vimeo video through the blog where I am, a great honor for me, one of the moderators.

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Morning bliss

I am awake and feel lazy in a sensual way. I turn on my side and watch Princess, still deep asleep. This is one of my preferred moments of the day. Just looking at her, seeing how, in her slumber, she feels safe and very at home at my side. It makes me so joyful.

“Mmmm”, Princess mumbles and slowly opens her eyes. She smiles, happy to see me.

I lay my hand on her temple, she loves that. Princess finds it is an incredible soothing gesture.

For a while we simply look at each other while I observe how Princess climbs out of the deep ravines of her sleep and dreams.
She is not a morning person.

We kiss and I slide my hand over her naked body. Princess shivers, our kisses deepen. I feel her nipples, erect and hard, press against my chest.

I push my leg against her thighs and feel her moistness. She sighs and moves, grinding my knee with her wet and longing core.
Her breathing increases, eyes closed and goose bumps appear.

I let my fingers walk over her side and, just above her hipbone, I close my hand, let my fingernails crush her soft skin.
Princess throws her head back. She is enjoying it so much. With my free hand I grab her hair.
I knead her skin, pinching as hard as I can and find intense pleasure-giving Princess pain.

Her orgasm is intense.

“Thank you, Milord”, she whispers.
I smile.
“I want more, please”, she begs.

I roll her over, on her back and push her legs apart with my knee. Princess gulps for air when I spear her in one swift move.

We fuck, we make love and fuck again. I lie on her, with all my weight, moving my hips up and down. Biting in a nipple and pinching her sides while my breath caresses her neck makes her cum and tremble and sigh.
Princess is so wet and I keep going on and on.

“Stop please, Milord”, she suddenly whimpers.
“I can’t any more”, she whispers, eyes shyly cast down.

I roll off her and then we lie on the bed. Princess’ head resting on my chest. I can feel my heart race. The air in our bedroom is filled with the scent of hot sex.

We kiss.
And kiss.

We get up.
Then we start our day.

Morning Bliss (2015) Pinching and scratching drives Princess mad.
Morning Bliss (2015)
Pinching and scratching drives Princess mad.
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I was browsing Vimeo. They have great stuff and there is mature content too. The kind that makes Youtube curl their toes and makes them squirm.

I found this short movie on Vimeo by accident.
A naked woman eating red grapes. Then the tattoo between her breasts is shown. Something devilish. The last scene of this 46″ clip is a man’s chin between her legs. He is not eating her but only receiving gushes of some reddish stuff (wine?) running out her body.

Not your regular, everyday golden shower.

I found it intriguing yet way to direct. Direct in a way of deliberately shocking viewers without a message enveloping it.

It is inevitable, except if you are homosexual, but on a regular base your partner or you both will be indisposed.

Some of the women I knew needed cuddling, love, a hot water bottle or a cup of tea. I liked doing that. It is some kind of aftercare and I think I am pretty good at that.

One or two got depressed and one of them frightened me so much that after a few months I simply moved on.
Hell, the first time she phoned me at work. Crying and sobbing as if her cat had died, or some other relative. That several times on one single day.
The relation did not last very long and the fact she liked fucking other men was not in her favor either.

My kids mother found menstruating disgusting. When some family member told her they did it then because God does not approve fucking for pleasure and the probability of pregnancy was zero, she found it even more repulsive.

With Princess there has never been a problem. We make love whenever we can. Princess can be a little more emotional during ‘that time’ but that is it.

I adore making love with Princess during that time of the month. I am not nicer with her, I just do what I love to do. I fuck and play with her. Push her buttons.
It is finally about trust and intimacy.

After all being indisposed is a part of a person’s sexuality.

Do you remember, Princess, last year, 2014, when we made love just before we left for our annual holiday?
Our bed looked like we had slaughtered something on it.We both liked what we saw.
We loved what we just had experienced.
Collateral damage?
What the fuck. I love it.

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Bound by Desire